Sadness

The other day I posted on my Facebook page that I was feeling down and alone with the kids gone to their Dad's for the weekend. I immediately had several comments from friends far and wide either commiserating with my situation or attempting to cheer me up. I have to say that I have an awesome group of friends, and I just wanted to tell you that appreciate each and every one of you. I was honestly touched by all the responses.

I thought that maybe I would go a little more in depth on the subject and explain myself just in case someone out there may need to hear or can relate to my story. I live with depression. It isn't something that I talk about often, not even really to my family, but I struggle with it every single day. I have learned to put up a good front and plaster a smile on my face but deep down, the sadness is there. I don't give in to it every day. Sometimes I can go for a couple of weeks without letting it get to me, but it is always there. 

I have been taking medication daily for a little over a year now and it has really seemed to help. I know that it isn't always talked about and even sometimes frowned upon, but for me, I feel like if it helps, then you take it. It took me a long time to seek help, but I've learned that there is no shame in it. The stigma may be real but it definitely needs to change.  Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and medication can help to counteract that. It may not be for everyone but I like to call them "my happy pills". Lol

I have battled with depression for more years than I can count. My friends and family will probably be surprised to know that it goes all the way back to my high school years. The thing about depression is that it is a silent illness. Most people who suffer from depression get very good at hiding their feelings and suppressing them. Trust me, I've got a poker face like nobody's business. You might know when I'm mad (ok, definitely then) or when I'm unhappy, but when I'm sad...that gets buried deep until I am alone in the dark with my thoughts. 

I don't think about it all the time. In fact, for the most part, I am pretty happy these days. My life is good, I enjoy the place where I am at and I can't complain. There are things in my past that I would probably change if I could but there is no room for regret because those things are gone. There is a purpose and a plan for my life and I have faith that eventually I will get there. I may have my moments but I refuse to live in them any longer than I have too.

So, please friends, don't worry about me. I really am okay. I have a great support system through my family and my friends and my church. I know that all I have to do is reach out and someone will be there. 

If you suffer from depression, I urge you to get help. Find a counselor. Go to church. Join a support group. Call a friend. You are not alone. Someone will always be waiting to extend you a hand. You just have to be brave enough to take it. 

Thanks for stopping by. 

KT